Exposure therapy, Hypnotherapy and Night panic attacks

 I wanted to get these three topics into once post, so here we go, with bolded sections just because this post is so long:


Exposure Therapy (no, not that sort of exposure)

My CPN referred me to an occupational therapist a couple of months ago, for a sort of graded exposure therapy to try and deal with my agoraphobia and avoidance.

This is fantastic news, as for a long while I thought I'd never get help from the mental health services again and was terrified that I'd be completely debilitated like this and stuck between four walls, not being able to fend for myself for the rest of my life.

source unknown

I'm really trying to work out how to make the most out of these several journeys outside with a therapist- how can I best use them to help my agoraphobia and social phobia in 'real life' and out of these highly controlled, one off visits? These issues are all closely connected and stepping outside in this way doesn't necessarily solve my serious problems with interaction or help me deal with panic attacks. I can never totally figure out the whole answer to why I can't socialise. I know most of the time I'm frozen with fear, but there has to be underlying problems with my actual social skills considering I've never been able to practise them. And then there's the other worry that I am still socially inept under all the fear and inhibition.

This was an image accompanying a "Successful Social Situations" mp3- there's no denying it, they're having a ball.

What do I need to be telling my occupational therapist? How can we figure out the best path of graded exposure to take and how can I make sure I'm being understood, especially when social phobia makes it so hard to say anything?!

We've had a couple of discussion sessions and been outside together once, walking around a gallery- but we haven't properly made plans and established the 'graded' element of the therapy yet.

I will have to have a think and make some "SMART"  goals before our next session. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time Frame (establishing one)- pretty self explanatory.

I desperate want to end my help with the CMHT with a geniune improved ability to function and feeling like there's a way for me to get into work and back into education in my horrible situation?

Hypnotherapy

image source: wellness-institute.org

I know this is a very alternative method not condoned by the NHS- and that hypnotherapists make a lot of money from this.

I'm really unsure of how someone can profess to help with my reactions to thoughts and associations so quickly for a very complicated condition, without hardly knowing me.
 I've looked into it a lot and I'm still unsure if hypnotic states differ from relaxed states etc?
As there's so little reliable information and it's pretty easy to get accredited I'm even more concerned. That said, I'm really at the end of the road and my mum really wants me to try it, my parents have very kindly offered to pay for one session so I'm giving it a go.

I have an appointment next week and am hoping it won't be too traumatic.


 Panic Attack

Last night I woke up at about 2:30am in complete terror.

At first I couldn't work out what was going on- had someone broken in???
But I had this sudden convinction that I was going to die immediately, like this thought had just been placed into my head by someone else.

The feeling of the sheets against my skin was really intense and when I went into the living room, colours were really lurid and things were in 'high definition'. I was feeling incredibly paranoid and jumpy, with chest pains that felt like a result of having something compressed down on it for ages. I was getting scared looking at anything (for example a picture of Lou Reed, haha)-  I was freaked out that it might morph into something else. "Quick- what's not even remotely figure-like/symbolic and unfrightening?" So I just desperately stared at the carpet!

I could just about rationalise though these feelings that I was having a panic attack, because of being suddenly convinced I was going to die.

I don't usually get panic attacks in the night, although I know other people do. Mine are usually directly triggered by having to do anything remotely social. Because of the brighter colours and heightened sensation, I'm wondering if this whole thing is still part of the seroquel withdrawral I've had to go through? I had to stay awake for over an hour until everything had mostly subsided and even then my sleep was restless.




I'm totally in love with Tiny Ruins' songwriting and voice. "Me at the Museum" is my favourite.